While browsing our sister blog, Paper-Thin Walls, I linked to a website known as The Black Table. And it was because I read a particular story here that I barfed all over myself with laughter. Here lies a hilariously written story about the band Hatebeak, featuring none other than Waldo, their lead singer. Oh and by the way, Waldo is an African Grey Parrot. All hail Hatebeak.

http://www.blacktable.com/dorfman040906.htm
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Here we go, Hicks. Now I am finally comfortable with the picture.



Sorry Ian. For the same reasons, I had to continue with the hilarity. Unfortunately, I won't make it to any of the festivities, so here is my chance to tease you now. (And honestly, I'm being REALLY NICE with this picture. You know how ruthless we are.)
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Ok, here we are. My favorite ten CDs of the year. I've decided to opt for alphabetical order instead of numerical rankings because, quite frankly, there just wasn't a CD that I could solidly defend as my number one. I thought this year was a bit of a drag altogether, with most of the best albums still lacking front-to-back quality.

There shouldn't be a whole lot of surprises here for those who have read any of the posts I've made about music in the last 12 months. Note to Saxy: sorry dude but I don't know your taste in music well enough to make a call on whether or not you would dig something.

!!!, Louden Up Now
June 8th (Touch & Go/Warp)
Seriously bad name, but once you see these guys live you'll never want to listen to the CD (as great as it is) again. One of the best shows I saw all year, from that band that gets all the feet moving. !!! is as loud and heavy as a punk-funk band can get. Plus they have very dirty mouths. Check it: err'body

AC Newman, The Slow Wonder
June 8th (Matador)
Just a damn good record of short 3-minute power pop tunes that favors in-your-face snstrumental and vocal flourishes to pesky oohs and aahs. Check it: Grant, Dave, Aaron

Alpha, Stargazing
March 23rd (Nettwerk)
The most criminally overlooked album of the year. You will scarecly find this one reviewed anywhere, but I'll go ahead and call it the best shoegazer / chill-out album of the year. Subtle electronics, lush pads, and a slew of great vocalists. Very low-key and enjoyable. Check it: Ian, Steve

Arcade Fire, Funeral
September 14th (Merge)
Blah blah blah. Probably my favorite album of the year on most days. It deserves Pitchfork's #1 hype of the year album of the year, and the many other #1s it has received. Check it: It's the album of the year... everyone

Franz Ferdinand, Franz Ferdinand
March 9th (Domino)
"Take Me Out" is probably the most important single of the year in terms of impact on the business and music consumption in general. This album is really solid. No mundane indie-rock by numbers going on in here. Crazy A-B-C-D-B-C song structures make this one one of the year's best. Check it: You know by now whether or not you like it

The Go! Team, Thunder, Lightening, Strike
September 13th (Memphis Industries)
Probably the hardest record of the year to pin down that wasn't recorded by Bjork. This disc is one infectious Retro-TV-Theme-song-waiting-to-happen after another. Meant to be listened to in a van. Check it: Steve, anyone who liked The Avalanches

Junior Boys, Last Exit
September 21st (Domino/Kin)
We've all come to except that the 80s are probably back. This not only picks up where the decade left off, but carries all of the decades best qualities into the future. Minimal, ice cold dance music. Check it: all

M83, Dead Cities, Red Seas, Lost Ghosts
July 27th (Mute)
Solid noise from front to back, this one barely keeps a foot on the ground by dropping back to punchy beats and glitched vocals every few songs. This album is like Air meets My Bloody Valentine, with all knobs on eleven. The disc is a total mess of analog synths that swirl from one kind of noise into another. Highly listenable! Check it: Ian, Steve, Dave

Rogue Wave, Out of the Shadow
July 13th (Subpop)
My other favorite record of the year. This one is does it with unpredictable melodies, time signature and production shifts, but remains entirely accessible for the most part. A lot of busy productions set against stripped down acoustic tunes, with beautiful melodies throughout. Reminds me of the White Album. Check it: Dave, Aaron

Tinariwen, Ammasakoul
October 12st (World Village)
Sure, it's "World" music, but when you work around it all day some of it starts to sink in. This group is a badass bluesband of nomadic, ex-guerilla freedom fighters from the Sahara desert. Let the genre of organic trance blues begin. Killer guitar riffs climb all over each other on this disc. Check it: Anyone who can get over the language barrier


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Something just didn't look right in that picture before, so I fixed it with the help of a revolutionary software product called Paint.



Sorry dude, I started with the goatie and couldn't help myself.
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Well, I'm not happy to say that my navy blue '87 Volvo 240 DL (aka the Brick, the Blue Bomber, The Vulva, The Tank, The Liberal-ator) has officially gone kaput. I ran that piece officially into the ground this past weekend, in the face of horrible weather and mounting problems. I left my baby for dead on I-70, south of downtown Indy.

Speaking of piece, here's a list of all the things that were wrong with the old Volvy:

1. My driver's side window did not roll down. Sure, not the worst thing ever, but try sitting in a car with no AC in 90+ degree heat with no open window. This also made me look quite foolish at the drive through with my damn door open. Sucks.

2. My brakes lights were very selective about the times they decided to work. Whenever it rained the brake lights were money. Once the condensation on the inside of the light dried out a few of them would stop working - sometimes none at all.

3. Even after a brand new exhaust system my car was loud as hell and it made my clothes smell like gas sometimes. Very pleasant.

4. As of a few weeks ago - no dashboard light. I had a small camp light set up in my dash so I could see how fast I was going, but it was so bright that if I left it on at night I could barely see the road. Again, this is not good.

5. Puddles. I used to get fucking puddles in the floor behind the driver's side seat. No small puddles, I'm talking pools that required me to use a 32oz. cup to bail my car out.

6. The glovebox. I know, how could something go wrong with a glovebox??? Keep in mind, this car was a piece. Whenever I hit a speed bump a little to fast (like 5+ mph) the glove box would drop open and the face of the glove box would land on the floor or in the passenger's lap.

Xzibit? Where you at? You needed to come at this car with some solid gold daytons. Maybe hit me with 10 X-Boxes in the trunk or some shit.

There's probably more, but you get the idea. Anyway I spent yesterday shopping for a new ride. I ignored my opinion that this make of car is ugly as sin and bought a '97 Pontiac Grand Am. I got a deal, it's low milage, and it has a driver's side window that rolls down.
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Since the NFL season is starting to wind down, I thought I would offer up a few topics worth discussing.

1. Even without T.O. till at earliest the Super Bowl, are the Eagles still the best team in the NFC?
I say hell nah. The team playing the best ball in the NFC is the Carolina Panthers. They may have lost this week, but the only way you can beat this team is to score early and often to elimiate Goings and their very capable run game. Plus, they probably have one of the best, if not the best D in the league right now.

2. Who is the most overrated team in football?
I would say without a doubt the Atlanta Falcons. Vick has not put together a consistent game all year. Their D is supposed to be solid, but they gave up 27 to Tampa Bay a few weeks back, and were shut out in that game, and gave up 31 against the Panthers.

3. Why are people still asking "Who's the best QB in football?"
Get this Tom Brady bullshit out of here, are you kidding? Last night we saw what I think will become a regular thing for Brady - inability to win games. He gets far to much credit for "Being a winner," when it's his Defense that has come up with most of the game winning plays in recent years. The Pats will not be in AFC championship this year, and Peyton is not only the best QB in the game, but the best player to ever play the game. I'll say it now and everyone else can agree after he gets a few rings and breaks any records that are leftover.

4. Does Pittsburgh have what it takes?
Hard to say. Big Ben is making very few mistakes, and their D has looked impressive. Then again they've only played one high-powered offense (Philly), so it's tough to say whether they can hold up against a team like Indy or San Diego. Plus, I look for them to get knocked off by the Bills in week 17.

Thoughts?

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Big-ups to Peyton for making the right decisions last night. I can't believe the crowd actually booed him for taking a knee during the final minute of the game. (read at Indy Star) Peyton is going to get the record, and when he does we'll all know that each and every TD pass he threw was legit. No running up the score, and no denying Edge on plays where the D is clealy playing pass. Some people actually have respect for the records, unlike Favre and Strahan with that sack record debacle a few years back. History is coming next week and I'll call TD pass #49 to Harrison.

A few things from the blogosphere and beyond worth checking out today:

--The Morning News drops their Top Ten records on our respective asses. The Secret Machines at #1??? C'mon now. "Nowhere Again" is a solid track, but that album has plenty of weak spots.
--Engadget has the lowdown on Honda's latest - the first Fuelcell-powered car. Toby Keith said to still be a Ford truck mayawn.
--Stereogum takes a look inside the various Wes Anderson soundtracks.
--Pitchfork has the audacity to muster up a top 50 reissues list for 2004. That's right, a top 50 reissues list.
--Billboard annouces the return of the most boring and overrated live band of all time, Widespread panic
--Yahoo News looks back at the strangest news stories of 2004.
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I'm sure you've all heard about the Washington, DC council vote that, for the time being, excludes the nation's capitol from the MLB fraternity. In case you've been living in a cave, and for some reason that cave does not get ESPN or Fox Sports Net, here's a good summary of the story. How could this happen? Why would they do this?
Let me tell you...nothing could make me happier.

I'm not kidding. And it makes me even happier that at least one sports journalist has enough integrity to realize what a shady deal baseball is for DC, in fact, for pretty much every city--he comes in the form of ESPN.com's Jim Caple. Much obliged Jim!

I love baseball as much as anyone (moreso because I am a born and raised Yankees fan), and to all my DC friends, my heart goes out to you. Yes I love being able to watch games in person in my own town, but it doesn't excuse the MLB and city councils for extorting the funds to pay for it from taxpayers. Nothing makes local politicans fawn so shamelessly like an approving nod or flirtatious wink from a pro sports franchise and it's absolutely pathetic. Could you imagine your mayor at a press conference, staring directly into the cameras, saying:

"Ladies and gentleman of major metropolitan area X, while it is unlikely that the proposed plan will create a net gain in employment, wages, or overall productivity, the building of an overpriced playground for me and my friends would be really neat, and we really want one. So reach deep inside you and come up with the money to finance it. Also, we--meaning me and my friends--will certainly come out ahead on this deal."

The studies on this subject are legion, but a recent one on the DC baseball proposition was done by Cato. Mayor Anthony Williams derided Cato, saying:

"I can't imagine why, with all the things happening in the world, the Cato Institute would take the time to analyze the impact of baseball in Washington, D.C."

The audacity! As David Boaz responded, in so many words, with the worst education system in the country, one of the largest achievment gaps, and one of the violent crime rates, why should Mayor Williams be spending time on baseball? So a bunch of K Streeters and congressional staffers don't get to fashionably cheer on a team that until recently played its home games about 1000 miles from home--deal with it!

[Hat tip to The Fly Bottle]

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I want to make sure you all check this out, so be sure to stop by Ali's Blog, where she talks about how our cat DJ Sheeba (aka DJ Fancy Feast) is bringing in the funk.

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I saw this and thought, how hilarious is this? I guess this thing is the hottest thing in Japan right now. I think we all know that Dillbeaner needs on of these, but of course the man version for Kkkhanukah. If you ask me, I don't think it would make it as far here in the States without the whole anatomically correctness thing. Anyway, check out the article.
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I thought I would try a new pilot series here on the Watts, since updating has been a little slow lately. I will post a photo and hope that the sheer awesomeness of the subject matter will be enough to inspire conversation (kinda like that Falkor thing last week). Next up...

THUNDERCATS LAIR!

The best "Base" of any show ever?
The most undeservingly short-lived cartoon of all time?
What does this thundercats lair mean to you?

Discuss.
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This will more than likely be my last 2004 song post. I'd like to keep this going into the new year as soon as some good tunes start cropping up in January. In the meantime, I'd love to get some top 10 CD lists from all of you. Bring it in and turn it out. Mine will follow soon.

>>Madvillain - "Accordian"<<

Some of you have been waiting patiently for me to drop something that isn't either "Gay dance music" or "Pussy Indie rock" and your prayers have been answered. In my opinion, Madvillainy is the most progressive album of the year, while being decidedly backward-looking in production flavor. "Accordian" is a two-minute dose of deep sub, accordian, clacky beats and often absurd rhyme delivery (à la Dr. Octagon) courtesy of MF Doom. The thing I love most about this track, and the whole album, is the arrogance in Doom's cadence. He never really feels the need to drop his rhymes on the beat, and his voice and delivery sounds like he just put away a fiff of Crown and a pack of reds. It's the shit.

Even if the individual tracks don't do it for you, just listening to this record is the musical equivalent of watching a good cinematographer or director at work. Pick it up.
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I made an attempt to overcome that major self-imposed hurdle of shopping. I just loathe shopping, and clothes-shopping is the worst. I think the median American male can relate. There is one exception, and that is a European chain clothing store called H&M, but that's another story. Needless to say, the afternoon outing ended with me leaving the mall angry and perturbed - my poor girlfriend handled it pretty well for having not bought anything herself.

This is all in the way of a long introduction to this Washington Post story about "looking mode" and "shopping mode."

"It's a change in mindset," Dhar says. "You go from carefully weighing pros and cons to buying. You don't stop to think. You get into a frenzied mindset. You start looking for things to buy."

[And a] utilitarian purchase, he says, apparently gives you the justification to do something fun. "Essentials drive momentum," he says.

To quote the study: "Shopping momentum arises from this reasonable idea that shopping has an inertial quality, that there is a hurdle to shift from browsing to shopping, which, once crossed, makes further purchases more likely."

I know there's an obvious, misogynistic joke in there somewhere. The story also suggests a couple ways to avoid the problem.

[Hat tip to Marginal Revolution]

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FALKOR!

(Many thanks to Thigh Massa for reminding me of this)
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Via C'est What?, the arrogance and pure evil that is Ann Coulter and her cronies over at Fox News. It doesn't get much worse than this.

Vomit Recepticle? Check

Proceed under caution

Proving once again that a rise to success as a right-wing radical has little to do with your approach to policy and everything to do with your knack for stirring up a sound bite. I doubt you could say the same thing about any other political radicals - they know how to use ideas instead of words to make their case.

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Tonight go home, break out your old Pantera CDs and relive some of the screaming guitar solos of Dimebag Darrel Abbott and the massive crunch-drumming of his brother Vinnie Paul Abbott. In a sad day for the music world the ex-Pantera members were shot last night at a Damageplan show in Columbus, OH by a man who jumped up on stage and began firing at point blank range, Dimebag was killed. (full story) Whether you like Pantera or not, there are some crazy fucks in this world, and it's damn shame to see a very talented guy go down like this. The gunman should have been at a G.G. Allin show, where this kind of thing was welcome once upon a time.

Vulgar Display of Power is probably the best, and most important Metal record of the '90s, and a once every rock fan should have in their collection. You can hear its huge influence in dozens of today's most unimportant rock bands.

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First things first, I finally got around to hunting down some fresh music for the "Your Kids Are Gonna Love It" section of the sidebar. Sorry about the delay, I haven't had the internets at home for a couple of months and don't get as much opportunity to download the fresh dope jamz.

That said, I've added one of my favorite tracks of the year to that section, Junior Boys - "Birthday" and would encourage everyone to check it out. If you like this song you'll love the album, which is basically all in this very minimalist, glitched-out sort of dance style. It's also very Duran Duran, and possibly "Too Gay" for some (you know who you are, meaties), though not me. One journalist described their album Last Exit as (paraphrasing) "An album that pays tribute to the 80s new wave movement while simultaneously avoiding every one of it's clichés."

All the new songs to the right are great. A few words about each:
Ulrich Schnauss - Dense, layered, and expiremental. If you dug M83...
Arcade Fire - no need to say anything more about this band
Aloha - Very unconventional use of marimba (or whatever that is)
Moving Units - Don't remember what this sounds like for some reason, but good... damn good
Ted Leo - Great pop song that made #1 on one critic's favoritee songs of 2004 over at the Onion AV club this week.

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So I decided to finally go all-in and sign up foir Netflix. So far, three movies in and I think it's definitely worth the $17.99 a month for three movies at a time. They have just about everything you could want too. My only problem is that their suggestions are almost always movies I have already seen, and could certainly stand to dig a little deeper. Here's a few words about the flicks I caught this past week:

Hard Eight - 1996
As I stated previously, I'm a big fan of P.T. Anderson, and this film is not nearly the exception that Magnolia was. One thing you notice right off - PTA regular Phillip Baker Hall (one of the Pron producers from Boogie, and the sick old guy from Magnolia) is the absolute man. This dude can act in a major way. Phillip Seymour Hoffman also has a fantastic cameo playing a meatheaded Craps player. If you like Casino / Thriller / introspective-type movies, this one is for you. The plot twists and ending leave a little something to be desired, but the dialogue is worth the rental alone.

Control Room - 2004
This is a documentary devoted to the massive difference in journalistic approach between American news organizations and the Arab world's Al Jazeera. Fuck it if I sound elitest, but this film has basically no use for any American who has looked beyond the cable TV news outlets for war information. The people who should see this film are those who would never bother renting it in the first place. Those who take our American spin at face value and simply assume that there is nothing else out there to report. The most interesting thing about the film is the naiveté of one American soldier and his growing recognition of what constitutes the whole story. If you are against the war, Control Room will likely piss you off. If you are for it you might learn a thing or two.

Breakfast at Tiffany's - 1964
Alison just finished the book recently so I thought I would rent the movie. I watched for about an hour searching for some semblance of plot development and eventually fell asleep with shortly thereafter. I didn't care for it. Then again, I just can't seem to soak up the charm that some of these "Classics" are rumoured to exude.

Anybody seen any of these?

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My college's newspaper is nothing to write home about (heh, heh, get the pun?). But if the results from the 59th College Photographer of the Year competition are any indication, there are some pretty fantastic ones out there. San Jose State University and the University of Missouri in particular seem to breed some fine photojournalists.


Hat tip to The Agitator.

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Hey Lady! Don't get the idea that we're moving to Philly instead of Chicago just because they have a brand new cafe that sells nothing but cereal. You can continue to fill your addiction at home while I ear Chicago-style pizza for every meal of the day.
But, for the sake of more content, my top five cereals, all-time:

5. Special K - Easily the best heathy cereal ever created
4. Raisin Nut Bran - this would be higher on the list, but only if the entire cereal was made up of those chewy nut and rasien hybrid thingys. mmmm.
3. Fruity and / or Cocoa Pebbles - I love it when this ceral gets soggy and becomes a tasty mush of rainbow and chocolately flavors.
2. Strawberry-filled Mini Wheats - expensive and hard to find, but oh so money.
1. Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch - but only after I let it marinade in milk for 10 minutes so it's good and soggy and doesn't injure the inside of my mouth.

Side Note: Frosted Flakes are the worst. You're better off eating spoonfuls of sugar and chasing it with milk. Also, you should all know that I hate Lucky Charms because the marshmellows squeak sometimes when you bite down on them.

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How about them Hoosiers? Sittin' pretty at 2-0, right? How about this talk that Davis might be out if IU has another season riddled by underperformance? I don't think it's fair. Our early schedule is every bit as tough last season's, maybe even worse. Check out the next six games:

12/1 No. 11 North Carolina
12/4 at No. 6 Connecticut
12/8 No. 19 Notre Dame
12/11 at No. 8 Kentucky
12/19 at Missouri
12/22 Charlotte

So, the question remains. If Indiana does go bust with another sub-.500 or 11+ loss season is Davis out, and futhermore does he deserve to be out? Right now, I'll go ahead and call a 16-win season, which will give them 11 losses headed into the Big 10 tourney. Likely not enough for an at-large NCAA bid this time around. If you ask me, we owe Davis at least one more season to let guys like White and Baden mature into solid offensive threats. Plus talk of another strong recruiting class for next year is on, making us very likely contenders in the conference for next season. It would be foolish to dismiss Davis with so much of his vision yet to be fully realized.

Thoughts from my bros?


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But this one is sure to.

Fat Possum Records put out Sunday Nights: The Songs of Junior Kimbrough, a tribute to the late blues legend. The release includes Kimbrough tunes done by Iggy Pop, Jon Spencer (feat. Elliot Smith), The Black Keys, The Fiery Furnaces, and so on. It also includes Pete Yorn, whose popularity and critical appeal--I just wanted to add as an aside--I've never understood.

In any case, Kimbrough wrote a respectable catalog of unpretentious (as if authentic blues ever isn't) and listenable Mississippi-style compositions. A couple sample tracks are included on the site.

Another great cover of Kimbrough is "Meet Me in the City," done by the North Mississippi All-Stars on their '03 release Polaris.

EDITOR UPDATE: Snag these tracks from the compilation:
You Better Run (version #1) – Iggy and the Stooges
Sad Days Lonely Nights – Spiritualized
I’m Leaving – The Fiery Furnaces

GRATUITOUS UPDATE: I just wanted to give a jangle to an album which came out in August, but apparently I just plum missed. Shades of Grey -- Greyboy. I don't think Greyboy's ever put out a bad album. This one is drenched with the retro LP sound of the Dee-Lites and Delfonics, along with his collaborator Elgin Park. He is to soul production what Zero 7 is to Euro-ambient pop: flawless, catchy, and perfectly timed.

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"This U.S. company's white-collar employees mostly work only four months a year."

Any takers? That is the question (or answer if you will) that brought down Jeopardy god Ken Jennings, or as I call him Ken-Jen. I suck at Jeopardy, but that was an easy one. Anyway, Reuters has an interesting article on the loss that aired last night (he actually lost about 3 months ago). 2,600 answers questioned. That is impressive any way you slice, dice or julie-anne that mother.

Did I just post about the Jeopardy guy?
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