This is absolutely hee-lar!
[Hat tip to Elizabeth via Obernews]
Also at Billboard, Beck teams up with the rock'n'roll equivelent of A-ron's mom, Jack White on his next record. That dude is all up on everybody's nutsack. Best part, the new record is produced by the Dust Brothers of Midnite Vultures glory (the deepest slice of funk ever to tear a roof off of this mother-sucka).
Lastly on this music post, and just for Ian Esq. - Trent Reznor covering The Thompson Twins' "Lies". The track is from the long lost NIN release Halo -4, back when he was with the short-lived suck-machine Option 30 ( <--click for more info & music). Hey Ref!!! Nice call asshole! I especially like were he tries to go all falsetto at the end. I think we're all glad that Trent was able to find his inner hatred, but this still confirms that the dude wears cozy sweaters to all family functions. (Via Stereogum)
I thought this was kinda cool. As a promo for the upcoming Jonathan Demme-directed remake of "The Manchurian Candidate," they've launched an interactive game that involves calling you on your phone, listening to clues, and a voice recognition software that makes "moves" base don your oral responses.
You play as "Marco," a career soldier trying to gain information about his mysterious experience in Desert Storm. Characters from the movie call during a pre-determined time each day and request help with adventures pulled straight from the movie. Players prompt characters next move with their own voice; a wise choice moves players ahead in the game, a poor choice puts them on the "Danger" path, and two poor choices eliminates players from the game.
At first blush, watching the demo, it kinda reminded me of "The Game" starring Michael Douglas.
Anywho, this new disc is a work of controlled chaos. Time signatures be gone, brutal as fuck while retaining unmistakable artiness, meaner than your moms as she grounds you, and implementing electronics subtly, yet effectively (cuz yous know, the shit's out the window for me if sans electro stylings). Ch-check this shit out...now...pussies.
Which, in turn, this disc makes me reflect on the first half on this year, musically. It's been a damn fine year, and one which is to only get better (as I know of a shitload of 2nd half releases which will be sick as the proverbial fuck). So, here's my top 10 thusfar...and it was honestly hard (please add your own sally bullshit lists...I keed, I love):
1. Pan Sonic – Kesto
2. Skinny Puppy – The Greater Wrong of the Right
3. Defragmentation - Lamentelemental
4. Beastie Boys – To the 5 Boroughs
5. Tweaker – 2 am Wakeup Call
6. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Miss Machine
7. Ministry – Houses of the Mole
8. Chemlab – Oxidizer (CrackNation Mix)
9. Dieselboy – The Dungeonmaster’s Guide
10. Squarepusher – Ultravisitor
In other news, my sickly-religious girlfriend dumped me today for no other reason other than the fact that I don't believe in god. How fucked is that (especially since she knew that from the beginning...and I've been going to church with her despite it)?
For more info on the convention, check out the daily coverage of the Daily Show's daily coverage of Democratic National Convention.
George Lucas annouced the official title of Episode III on Saturday. Revenge of the Sith is expected to closely mirror the plotline of Jedi. I know I'm going out on a limb here, but there's simply no way this movie can suck. Not only do the bad guys win, they dominate.
Via The Monring News, check out this super dope digital technology timeline. Notably absent is any mention of the Bundy family's prized Betamax machine.
Lastly, celebrity 'lil sis Ashlee Simpson debuted at #1 (!!!) on the Billboard album charts this past week with her debut record AutoCRAPography. This is another increasingly frequent example of the power of well-placed marketing over the fical minds of the massses. I caught a little bit of her show on MTV and am happy to say that this is officially the most trite, bratty, candy-coated garbage I've ever had the displeasure of nearly vomitting over.
The title of this post refers to an ongoing series of posts he has about those small realizations one has in life that makes you realize "life just plain sucks sometimes!" He's obviously intelligent, but plays himself off as a slyly ignorant middle-American. And he has this clever self-loathing that brings it all together.
Of special note, is his "Uncle Patrick's Advice to Children."
Don’t try to pee and ride a bicycle at the same time, even if Jim Marburger can do it. Not that you were watching or anything.
Should you ever decide to use bamboo sticks and stretchy, decorative string that’s designed to wrap presents to make a bow and arrow, and should you decide to wad up a bunch of duct tape on the end of your arrow and soak it with WD-40 so it’ll, you know, burn better, I would recommend not shooting the flaming arrow onto the roof of a house, or into the lap of your friend’s cousin. Even by accident.
God created assistant managers when he was in a really shitty mood.
Head wounds do tend to bleed a lot. Don’t panic.
You can see where it goes from here. He also has a great post on his Fourth of July hijinks, wherein he interjects the story with one about his Indian friend and a new "nickname" he came across. It was like a page out of my own life and I have now decided to adopt it myself.
I just registered a fantasy football league for all who dare enter. Click here to register - come one come all. The Info you will need:
League ID: 231629
League Name: 1.21 Gigayards
For those without a Yahoo Account, go here.
For those with an account, go here to register.
You'll have until August 22nd to register. The live draft is Sunday, August 22nd at 1:30 EST (that's 12:30 here in Indiana). You'll be privy to more information on this after you register. You don't have to take part in the live draft to receive your players.
Everyone sign up and lets make this another fun fantasy football year.
- A little while ago, I posted an op-ed in the LA Times advocating the nihilist position in the upcoming Presidential election. It turns out Crispin Sartwell, besides being a teacher at Dickinson College, is also an apt critic of underground hip-hop (part of a book on black and white culture), knowledgeable of blues harmonica (from a book on beauty/aesthetics), well-versed in comics, and of course anarchy (here's his obligatory book on that too). Here's a great Kerry-bashing piece and one on Michael Jackson, Madonna and Prince.
- There's a student run newspaper based at the University of Oregon called the Oregon Commentator which I generally enjoy. One of their Contributing Writers is a fellow by the name of Dan Atkinson. I have a special place in my heart for him because he penned perhaps the funniest "review" I have ever read. It's the parody of a wine tasting review that appeared in another Oregonian publication. The premise is to review Night Train, Fairbanks, Manischewitz, Carlo Rossi, Boone's Farm, Thunderbird, Richards, and Mad Dog, comparing them by "taking notes on nose (smell), palette (taste) and finish (aftertaste)."
Thunderbird's "Serve Cold" (750 ml, $2.79, 17.5%), "The American Classic," was a complex and aggressive wine from the first sniff. "The stale farts of an aging Times Square hooker," noted Brandon, seeking vivid metaphors for the barbaric attack, "or the odor of vomit-soaked sewer grates." Mike found the nose urinary with a hint of Windex. To me, it was a quivering bouquet of Nyquil, rotten grapefruit, and horseradish. The odors were heavy like sun on a headache, like varnish on an open sore.
- He's not "hidden" by any means, but if you haven't read (or heard of) P. J. O'Rourke, seriosuly, get with it! He's probably the most brilliant and consistently funny political commentator around. He's also correct all the time, to boot! He's the mdoern day H. L. Mencken (which probably explains why he's the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow at the Cato Institute). He's written for The National Lampoon, Automobile, American Spectator, Playboy, Esquire, Vanity Fair, and Harper's. He had a regular gig at Rolling Stone too (back when they were credible). He's now got a day job at The Atlantic Monthly.
That's all for now.
All that aside, my friend wrote a three-part documentary piece for the Tucson Citizen last December that puts a human face on the illegal border-crosser's struggle. Living in Arizona, this issue is probably a hotter debate than almost anywhere else (save California and Texas). Either way, anyone willing to walk the distance in 110+ degrees must be making a pretty clear statement of their preferences. I think props are in order for my friend who wandered around the same desert to get this story:
Under a mesquite tree somewhere in the vast Arizona desert lay the unburied body of Rafael Martinez Ruiz.
What little shade the 34-year-old Mexican may have found couldn't counter the 110-degree weather or the heat exhaustion and hyperthermia that killed him.
"Rafa," as he was called, likely took his last breath July 15, crossing the Mexican border's deadliest region during the hottest days of the deadliest summer on record.
PartI, part II and part III. I promise, once you start reading the first one, you'll want to read the rest. My friend also took some amazing pictures, many of which were too graphic for a publication like this.
As much as I hate the incessant drone of "the industrial-war complex marched us blindfolded into war" meme that Chomsky-ites and knee-jerk collegiate Marxists seem to love, given my deep reservations about any direct foreign involvement (especially military), I can still laugh at defined groups of intelligentsia advocating blanket platitudes of American involvement worldwide.
It seems one of these groups is the Committee on the Present Danger. They've appeared in various forms over the last few years, headed by various "eminent scholars" and politicos. Justin Logan has a good overview of this trend.
The money 'graph:
You know, it's one thing to play your hit single over and over again, but when it amounts to the geostrategic equivalent of "We Built This City," one would hope you'd hang it up after a good run. I mean, it doesn't matter if you call it Airplane, Starship, whatever -- it's still gonna suck.
I must say I disagree with these points. "It urges making the intelligence budget public for the first time to allow greater debate over how the money is allocated. It also recommends greatly reducing the amount of information that is classified." "More congressional control." Maybe I've seen too many Bond movies, but I think our our intelligence needs to stay as classified/secretive as possible, or else it no longer becomes our secret intelligence agency. Am I wrong here?? I mean the more access that people have to it, the easier that intelligence leaks to the wrong side can happen. As far as the other suggestions, I agree, they are obvious.
On a similar note, one of the original K.I.T.T. cars from Kight Rider is currently up for sale on ebay. Don't count on the car to detect mines in the road ahead, but it still has the sweet-ass dash and steering wheel!
I'm getting pumped for a Target opening of my own, as Jennie Nye of the Prox and I prepare for the grand opening of the new Target in Nora. We're both ex-Target employees, so if anyone has any questions about Target, we'll be happy to field them.
Hot Target Tip: If you're planning to spend a lot of money at Target, sign up for the Target Guest Card. That will save you 10% on your purchase. Then go right up to the Guest Service counnter and pay that bitch off! No more worries and you just saved 10%.
The great thing about eBay is it's complete lack of standards. Famed armless midgit Billie Simpson is selling photos of himself on a drunken rampage. Is it considered exploitation when you do it to yourself?
Via The Morning News, check out these cool music videos rendered in text (ala The Matrix).
Blog Overexposure of the Day (a new section of my post where I'll feature the item that too many people care about)
Franz Ferdinand leads the list of Mercury Prize nominees
Blogs are starting to become watered-down newspapers, and many of them barely have any trace of opinion left in them (Gothamist I'm looking at you). Everyone posts the same old shit anymore. I'm getting bored. Do any of the fellow Gigawatts contributers read other blogs on a regular basis? How do you feel about this?
All hail new iPod! I'm finally going to give in and get one in the next few months.
Thanks to Steve Nowak (aka The 31st Flava) for re-redesigning the Gigawatts logo. I enjoy the presence of the widely underappreciated "Mr. Fusion," on display in this version of the DeLorean. Any one interested in purchasing one of these fine
New free jams up on "Your Kids Are Gonna Love It" ---->
The is kind of a side project of Incubus, who you may or may not like, but I do. But they also are always trying to stay innovative by creating a bunch of side projects..."that they all play on." Kinda weird. The group is made up of Incubus (supposed to be the drummer and guitarist), "five string players, which include cello and violins; 5 horns, an organ, a xylophonist, and a percussionist." Plus, bassist Ben Kenney of The Roots, Neal Evans of Soulive and Suzi Katayama. In any case, they did a show in Hollywood, California (review) and on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It appears its all just for fun and music. By the way, the Live cd is fucking Sweet. I'll give up props to a hot lady I met here in Palatine from MySpace. She skilled in the arts of music and partying I must say.
Did anyone ever see the film Searching for Bobby Fischer? It was an excellent flick. Turns out that the world famous chess player has been a fugitive from the law since 1992 when he played Yugoslavia, against the sanctions of the United Nations. Read the story here. Despite getting his second win over the Yugo-champ, thus reaffirming the U.S. Cold War dominence, our country wants to bring him back to the states for trial.
Via Fark, Martha Stuart gets 5 months in a federal pound-her-in-the-ass prison.
Just for Alison - a guide to walking your cat. I maintain that this practice is completely ridiculous and unecessary.
Lastly, Anchorman has been out for a week now. I've yet to meet a person who thought it was top rate, but every reviewer out there is calling it the best comedy of the year. I'm not so sure this whole new genre of so-stupid-it's-smart comedy is really worthy. Didn't they say everything they needed to with Zoolander?
How about the new logo, courtesy of Jeff from Canada? Thanks Jeff! More new logos to come. I'd like to change them often.
In the meantime, I'd appreciate feedback on the artistic direction I'm going in here. Any ideas, complaints or comments?
UPDATE: Ok, so this is basically what I'm thinking as far as the logo goes. I'm also considering replacing Ole Doc Brown with a photo window that changes every week or so (ala the window in whatevs). Thoughts?
Also, I realize the text looks a little grainy and that the photo has little speckles. I'll fix dat shit, no worries.
My sister and I were watching television on July 5th. Carmel has this cable channel where they pretty much advertise how Carmel is a "great" place to live and do business and all of that shit.
On that particular day, the city was playing a video of the Fourth of July parade. My sister and I started watching it because it was just so damn ridiculous. Every other float was a church, vacation bible school and/or wagon full of fat asses. Keep in mind, I had just gotten back from Europe where I can only remember seeing two obese people in the entire 6 weeks I was there and after being in 7 different countries. So, my sister and I are just amazed at how stupid the parade was and laughing.
Then it happened...they had this Kiwanis Club group or Lion's Club or whatever on this 20-person bike riding through the parade. This was the group who was responsible for planning the entire Fourth of July festivities in Carmel this year. This group on the bicycle stopped right in front of the camera and did a "Chinese Fire Drill." And what's worse is the the announcer said, "Hey look, they're doing a Chinese Fire Drill," so that everyone in the crowd wouldn't be mistaken.
*big slap on my forehead in disgust with head shaking*
Welcome to Carmel everyone. No, we're not racist.
Carmel, by the way, has the fastest growing Asian population in the entire State of Indiana.
So, we have all of these mobidly obese,racist, white trash morons running around in this parade making fun of Chinese people. Great. This is my hometown. This parade is also being repeatedly broadcasted on a channel that is intended to entice people and businesses to settle in Carmel. How the fuck is Carmel going to make itself appealing to foreign businesses or out-of-state businesses and people if we have "RACIST" written on our foreheads? Let's parade around every mobidly obese moron we have and then wonder why people are reluctant to move to Indiana. Even better, let's put guns in their hands and flags that say "Don't Tread On Me--Welcome to Carmel."
For anyone interested, I videotaped the parade. It's one of the lamest things I've ever seen. Every other person is some morbidly obese woman with her jean shorts riding up in her crotch. If anyone has any desire to watch the video, then I'd be happy to make a copy.
I think next year I'm going to look into either putting together a Nihilist float or a Communist float for the parade. I wonder if they'd let me in? The city let churches, military, businesses and police into the parade. I actually think they have to let me in the parade by law.
Can anyone think of an idea for a float that will piss people in Carmel off the most? I'm leaning towards the Communist float.
Needless to say the mandatory minimum for owning a firearm in England is 5 years. Wouldn't that suck to shoot yourself and then have to go to prison for 5 fucking years. My friend, "You are a Moron."
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
I came across this site while reading an MSNBC article about how their book Real Ultimate Power is causing kids to go nuts and attempt to kill. After noting the URL on this article, it appears to be as fake as this site, and every bit as hilarious.
The LA Times carried an op-ed today by political science teacher Crispin Sartwell advocating the nihilist position. Since it requires registration, I've pasted the entire thing below.
It's Time for a Candidate to Toss His Hat Into the Void
Many proud but concerned Americans have asked me, "What is the nihilist position on the challenges that confront our cursed, bloated nation?"
The first thing to keep in mind is that everything we say, even this very sentence, is false. Nihilism faces the issues of today and of tomorrow with a bold, positive vision.
Terrorism — As shown by the popularity of Stephen King and John Ashcroft, people enjoy being terrified. What a beautiful time to be alive, momentarily.
War — We enthusiastically propose a war of each against all, which is polling well and is amply justified by the best intelligence. If there is a threat, it may well be presented by human beings like you and me, or possibly like you and I. No doubt a return to the Hobbesian state of nature will find broad bipartisan support in the Senate.
Education — We believe that children are our future. This idea fills us with profound despair.
Tax policy — Read my lips. Deficit spending is a metaphor for all existence: a void, a pure, perfect nothingness that encompasses all of us, ingesting us into its maw of Absolute Negation Without Antithesis; let us commit ourselves to it utterly, tumble over its lip and fall forever, forever … eroding into the screaming wind of utter absence.
Abortion — We are the only party that dares to oppose both life and choice. Life is an infestation, choice an illusion.
Gun control — Arm the unborn.
Church and state — "If God really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him" (Mikhail Bakunin).
Drugs — A great nihilist heroine, Nancy Reagan, once said "Just Say No." No.
Bush and Kerry — We miss Al Gore. But whoever is elected, nihilists will win this election. We commend George W. Bush's lies and the emptiness of his inner life. John Kerry stands tall and proud, simulating commitment in the most profound manner to Nothing at All.
Mutual Simultaneous Annihilation — Let's say that Bush and Kerry started eating one another, beginning at the toes and moving toward the head, finishing up by devouring one another's mouths. What, we ask a deeply divided nation, would be the result? We are the only party facing this crisis squarely.
Nothing works. It really does.
My fellow Americans, my fellow flies swarming closer and closer to the great swatter, let us rush upon oblivion together.
Crispin Sartwell teaches political science at Dickinson College in Carlisle, Pa.
Hat tip to Justin Logan via The Fly Bottle.
The basis of the article is that, "France accused the U.S. of pressuring developing countries to give up their right to make cheap generic HIV drugs in return for free-trade agreements -- with President Jacques Chirac calling the tactic 'tantamount to blackmail.'"
The problem is that so many liberals and so forth blame the Pharmaceutical companies for their high prices and blah blah. But if you ever studied how they and business works you would realize, they need to make back their high R&D Fixed costs, largest of any industry. Without intellectual-property rights, "you would have exactly the same number of drugs that has been discovered in the Soviet Union in the past 50 years, which I think is about one," CEO Hank McKinnell of Pfizer said.
Of course they also make some money, but they are a business. If all these people want someone to blame it is the government's of all of the countries of the world, who won't subsidize/purchase these drugs at the higher prices that are relevant and then give/sell at a lower price the drugs to the needy people and countries. Boo ya!! Blame The Man!!
Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl logged time last week behind the drum kit with Nine Inch Nails at Sound City Studios in Van Nuys, Calif. His contributions are expected to appear on the Trent Reznor-led act's long-awaited new album, "Bleed Through," due later this year via Interscope.
Check out the entire article. Ian, why is Reznor recording in CA?
It's too early to tell with AMG. At first glance, this looks to be a redesign oriented towards making AMG more of a store in addition to being my own personal bible. This should help Barnes & Noble's online music store (AMG partner) keep pace with the Amazon music store.
Pentagon says it, uh… inadvertently destroyed some of President Bush’s military records
Not to mention that today the CIA officially took the blame today for the lack of proper weapons of mass destruction intelligence in Iraq. The article doesn't talk about where that false info came from (my guess is thin air).
In related government bitching, Executive Scaremonger Tom Ridge annouced yet another impending terrorist threat. This one is set to happen before the Elections, with the intention of disrupting the democratic process. I gotta side with Gothamist and say that this is the GOP's way of taking the edge off the expected shift in poll numbers now that John Edwards is the veep to be.
Michael Moore's Blog
Is anyone else surprised at his 7th grade level of writing? It sounds like a 13 year-old wrote those posts.
With that, it is with great excitement that I welcome the latest installment in the Police Acedamy series. IT's been a decade since we saw (or didn't see) Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow, and now creator Paul Maslansky is ready to bring the squad back together for one more go at it. It'll be nice to Mahoney, Hooks, Hightower, Tackleberry and the rest of the crew back on the beat.
It is this point that I think has been a downfall of America and its politics. Each side has been experiencing so much animosity towards each other that they no longer care if the "other side" has a great innovative idea nor do they even listen to it, because it is the "other side". They are only supposed to support their party's actions. I say F that. Of course no one will listen to you, if you never listen to them. IT is just a deadly cycle of constant fighting where no great ideas can ever be put into effect, because everyone is to busy disagreeing with each other.
On the other hand, I would just like to add that these past two weekends have been awesome for me. There has been the Taste of Chicago, where J-red and Teddy came up to visit along with Ben's sister and one of her friends. And we all partied real hard in the Chi Chi. And then last weekend was the greatest feast of the year for my family, a huge lamb chop roast on an open pit bbq with hickory wood, along with all kinds of salads and pies and cobblers and homemade ice cream. Mmmm, Mmmm goodness. Not to forget the next day was also my birthday, along with the country's and I had a great time with my family and just turning one year old niece Molly, where we had a dual birthday party. After that I went up to Indy to meet J-red and Teddy at Kristen's for a 4th party, that was superb.
Another funny story, Actually, Rico's car broke down on their way to Kristin's, so I offered to give them a ride back to Chicago, and ended up having a couple of riding mates who were very enjoyable. But not before we hung out at Kristin's house by the pool (with no one else there, mind you) because the sun was too nice. I ended up hanging out with Rico later that night and the next one, as it was his 21st birthday. Not to mention, he is a SS for the Northwestern football team...so he knows a lot of hotties, eh um, a lot. Good Times in my Future boys, very very good times. Alas, me be so very tired from getting partying for too many days in a row, getting max 5 hrs. sleep and getting up early and working.
So let's get J-red to post some pics on Shutterfly so I can download that shit.
First off, there's a ton of great summer mixes here to download for free (via Stereogum). Take this moment to enjoy their blatant disregard for copyright laws by downloading some free jams. Lots of different and eclectic mixes available in Zip format. Sorry dail-uppers, there are no bloopy MIDI versions available yet, but kindly hang tight.
Those crazy germans at it again with the sex in strange ways (and places). Here a couple goes at it on stage to raise awareness for the rainforests. A damn fine publicity stunt IMO.
So I guess Marlon Brando is dead? Is it just me or is this man the strangest personality ever to grace the silver screen? Some career highlights from the CNN article:
On "The Score" (2001), he refused to be on the set at the same time as director Frank Oz; he received $4 million for 10 minutes of acting in "Superman" (1978); he sent a woman who called herself Sacheen Littlefeather to decline his Oscar for "The Godfather" (1972).
Also via Stereogum, here's an interesting video of Glen Danzig getting jacked in the face by Danny, a member of the band North Side Kings. It appears that Danny's mother missed the memo. Har har.
I composed a few e-mails recounting my experiences in Europe and got a lot of positive feedback. I'll try to condense them and post them on the Gigs in the next few days along with a couple pics.
'Til then, here's a couple random links:
Netflix Fan is a blog dedicated to, you guessed it, Netflix. I'm a Netflix evangelist. Everyone I hang out with gets an earful about my appreciation for Netflix. I celebrate their whole catalog. Also, the CEO/founder is a big school choice supporter.
Timothy McSweeney's Lists are just random and entertaining. My favorites are Playlists on Dick Cheney's iPod and If Charles Bukowski Had Written Children's Books. (Hat tip to The Agitator).
Once again, Slate gets it. Daniel Gross has a great piece on why Soccer (football to the rest of the world) is actually more American than baseball. In particular, why European football better exercises the free market, capitalistic disciplines of American business than the rigid, socialistic cartel of the MLB. Included is this great graphic done by Forbes, illustrating the relative values of all the MLB teams over the last six years.
Lastly, here is You Whores. Just look at these classifieds. Pretty damn funny some of them. (Hat tip to MetaFilter via Marginal Revolution).
Oh yah, a couple books I've been reading:
First, The Mountain People by Colin Turnbull. Turnbull, a famed anthropologist from the 60s, gained reputation for discovering and documenting an unknown Pygmy tribe in Africa thought to be a living example of the "Noble Savage" theory. In this book, he spends 2+ years with the African Ik tribe, who are quite the opposite.
The Origins of Virtue, by Matt Ridley. Ridley is a former zoologist and journalist who is something of a pop scientist. His writing reminds me of Steven Pinker in that he takes concepts that are at once broad, abstract, and even disconcerting and explains them in a way that is neither condescending or incomprehensible. In this book, he explores the implications of different moral frameworks/platitudes, offering useful thought experiments and historical examples.
Download the movie
I'll post more on the trip later on today.
At the request of Jared, you gotta check out this short little video. This is on of the nastiest (albeit hilarious) things I've seen in a long time. What do you think, is this guy faking it?
Don't Ever Get This Drunk