Vote for the Giant Douche 

I hope all of you were able to catch the new episode of South Park last Wednesday. I apologize for not posting prior to the episode but my computer at work got all jacked up. It debuted on the greatest day of the year, my birthday, and was fucking hilarious. New episodes of South Park air Wednesdays at 10 pm EST and should continue to be fucking hilarious. I hope ya'll bitches watch, Mary Jane and I most certainly will be. And remember to vote on Tuesday. America is (supposedly) a democracy, so vote for whoever you want, but I'd recommend the Giant Douche (Kerry) over the Turd Sandwich (Bush).



Adventures of a Marion County Housing Inspector 

As most of you know, I have assumed a new job as a Marion County Housing Inspector. The dynamics of the job are endless and I can briefly say that it has been an enlightening experience. Also, understand that this enlightenment is made possible by the fact that I am assigned to...well, the ghetto. This is not Carmel ladies and gentlemen. By the way, anyone looking for a hooker(s), crack, meth..., a dog (NOTE: All available breeds rabid and angry), a cat (NOTE: All available breeds rabid and angry), a monkey (NOTE: All available breeds rabid and angry), a car (barring full functional potential, VIN numbers...), vinyl siding (freshly stripped from a futile housing rehabilitation attempt), roaches or rats (the kids love 'em), or even a van load of vagrant illegal Mexicans ready and willing to establish camp in any viable vacant lot and work for pennies on the dollar, just let me know. Periodically, I will post stories and photos documenting my outrageous adventures. Here is the first:

Often, we housing officials will be left with informative notes as to the actions and/or intentions of the city folk we care for, so that we can adjust our agendas accordingly.



Gigawatts Turns One Year Today!!! 

Raise your glasses bitches, it's a celebration. Let us remember all the good laughs, the pointless posts, the longwinded political arguments, excessive double comments from A-Ron, the 20 or so different redesigns, and whatever else you have taken from this blog in the last twelve months. Take moment to check out the archives and relive some of the great moments in past year. In a lot of ways this blog is the glue that keeps friends from becoming... resentful old codgers who blame each other for not staying in touch. This secret whisper goes out to all y'alls.



Ole Macky's 2004 Favorites, vol. 1 

What's up all? Since the end of the year is drawing close, I've decided to start a weekly series offering up some of my favorite songs of the year for download. Due to the severely limited space on this blog each song will only be available for one week, and then I'll post another. This week's additon:

The Walkmen - The Rat
(right click -> save, to download)

This tune just absolutely destroys all. Just listen to the massive drum work going on in here. Lead vocalist Hamilton Leithauser sports some of the most gripping and expressive shouting I've heard in a long time. His work on this track reminds of Henry Rollins without all the intimidation and macho posturing.

Also, given the desperation in these lyrics the band seems to be having a damn fun time pounding this one out. Too bad "The Rat" is really the only tune on this album that sounds so fierce. Perhaps it's a sign of more heavy things to come. Don't be turned off by my emphasis on the heavier side, this tune is for everyone.




A sad announcement for boognish worshippers all over the midwest today - Ween has cancelled their upcoming tour citing the need for an intervention of member who is not named. Pitchfork has the details. From the email sent out to fans:
"There is a problem within the band that requires an immediate intervention for the health, welfare and safety of one of its members. For this member, years of touring have taken their toll. This is very sad, of course... but if something is not done now... the consequences could be even more dire than the cancellation of these dates."
I'll look around for more details and try to update this post later on today.



Dave Roberts, You (also) Da Man 

I completely forgot to mention the fact that, in addition to Ortiz, base-thief extrordinaire Dave Roberts tis also the man. You gotta love the way he was messin' with Rivera's head the other night. Pure brilliance. Check out the piece that Slate ran on him yesterday.

Tonight should be off the hook regardless of who wins. I personally would love nothing more than to see the pain on each and every punk-ass Yankee-fan-biotch face. I was reading a message board today and some of them were actually trying to say that A-Rod should have been safe after that limp-wristed little swat of his. Props to the umps for correcting two calls last night.

UPDATE: Maybe this is getting a little too serious. Via The Boston Globe: Boston fan killed by Yankee fan in post-game argument.


Obey the Word 

I got this straight out of Fark's comment sections. Hilarious. (sorry so long)

Dear George W. Bush:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his life by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.

Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.



Itchin' for some Glitchin' 

MORE BUZZ THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY COMPREHEND: Billboard.com has the 411 (scroll to the bottom) on the upcoming release from the all-time dopest beatmaker in history (IMO, of course) Scott Herron, a.k.a. Prefuse73. The best part of the news...
Herren did reveal the as-yet-untitled album will be preceded by a collaborative EP with the Books, "Prefuse 73 Reads the Books." "It's comprised of familiar material and improvs the Books handed off to me," he says. "I knew we shared common elements [although different] and was furthermore blown away by their edits and style."
Some of you may remember me posting an ultra-phat track by the Books earlier this year. This is sure to be one of the coolest collabs in the history of all music ever made. The Books, and their all-acoustic approach to electronic music, along with the tastiest of tasty beatmakers, Prefuse, should be an unstoppable combination.


I 've Got a Fever for Flavor of Sox, Red Ones 

David Ortiz is the absolute man. I assume some of you have been watching the Sox / Yanks showdowns in the last few nights. All I gotta say is that I've watched 3 games this year - saturday, sunday and last night and what are the chances that there would have been three straight games, each of which set the record for longest post season game?

I'll say it proudly right now, I am a fairweather fan and I want to see the SOX win! I also hate the Yanks more than any team in pro-sports. Seriously though, who has the patience to sit through 162 regular season games? The playoffs is where it's at.

Go Red Sox, and Astros (sorry, J-rod). And bring on more pointless posts!



Election-ic Beatz 

Swing by Kerryrocks.com and give a listen to the 1961-release by The Electras, the senator's band from back in the day. That's him back there playing the bass - droppin' musical bombs.



The Hypocrisy Factor 

Imagine the ranting and raving he would be doing if it were Al Franken. It's not, Bill O'Reilly has been sued by an employee for sexual harassment. Oops!

This lawsuit is hilarious. You can read the full document here. Just scroll down a bit and you can read every paragraph of the document if you please. I highly recommend reading the entire thing as it is not only entertaining when you get to the juicy parts, but you get a good idea of the timeline of all these alleged events.

Still, the highlights come at the following points:

In paragraph 42, the plaintiff accuses O'Dipshit of bragging about "going to Italy to meet the Pope, that his pregnant wife was staying at home with his daughter, and implied he was looking forward to some extra-marital dalliances with 'hot' Italian women."

In paragraph 55, O'Satan basically speaks about Fox President Roger Ailes as if he were a big time hitman. Watch your back!

In paragraphs 77-78, O'Liar is quoted hilariously as losing sight of the difference between a "loofah" shower sponge and a "falafel." See pictures of them to the left.

In paragraph 81, prepare yourself, it is alleged that "during the course of Defendant Bill O'Reilly's sexual rant, it became clear that he was using a vibrator upon himself, and that he ejaculated. Plaintiff was repulsed." That may just be the funniest thing I have ever read. Ever. The lawyers just had to add "Paintiff was repulsed." Great stuff.

Again, none of this is proven yet. Right now, these are all just accusations. However, big mouth Bill has yet to say these claims are false, unfounded, or anywhere near untrue. According to the lawyers, there were negotiations going on to keep this quiet, but O'Dungbomb had had enough.He said, "If I have to go down, fine." It seems he'd rather go through with this lawsuit than pay for the "extortion" that the plaintiff was asking (to the tune of 60 million allegedly). O'Reilly even said "I'm a big mouth on the air, and I'm a big mouth off the air." What do you mean Bill?

By the way, here is O'Reilly's lawsuit against the plaintiff, Andrea Mackris. To say the least, it has nothing close to the substance of hers.

The thing about the lawsuit against O'Reilly, if you read it, is that there are huge block quotes of conversations between Bill and the plaintiff (paragraph 78, 83, and 84 for example). Now, either she has an amazing memory, or she was taping the conversations. (And we can only hope to hear them.)

I love when these compassionate conservative can-do-no-wrong religious right pundits get hung up in things they condemn and rant about when it goes on with others (remember Rush Limbaugh ranting nonstop about drug addicts . . . oh wait, Oops! He is one.)

Keith Olbermann has a nice bloggerman post about it all here. And for a classic O'Reilly bashing, maybe my favorite of all Maddox XMission posts, check into the hilarity here. The O'Reilly BINGO is heelarr. Check it.

Irony: Bill is currently out there trying to sell his new book. Thats right, its a book for kids. Family first!


Gift Ideas for Christmas 

No sure what to get A-Ron's mom for christmas this year? Why not get her something you'll both enjoy:


The Album Format - R.I.P.??? 

Ok, so I've clocked in about a week and a half of iPod ownership and there are a few things that are beginning to become apparant to me. While I would hate to see it happen, I think the full-length album might be nearing it's demise as the primary format for music release.

First off, I can't sit still with this iPod thing. I use it in my car mostly, but no matter where I use iPod I feel a constant need to switch artists or albums every 15 minutes or so. Before iPod came into my life I would keep the same CD in my car for 3-4 days of back and forth to work driving. I really got to know each and every album I purchase. Now that I have iPod I can't help but switch the music over to something else once the slightest degree of restlessness sets in. It's quick-fix gratification, and it's everywhere these days.

It seems like many new iPod owners experience similar changes in their listening patterns. Pretty soon, when hard disk storage mp3 players hit the critical mass, what will become of the record industry? I think most of the to-do regarding the impending download takeover is premature and CDs should continue to sell at their current rate for at least another 5 years. But, with singles-based collections like "Now! #287" claiming to top spot on the billboard album charts, is there a chance for full-lengths to survive the growing single download / boutique phenomenon? Would it be a bad thing for groups and record labels to place less emphasis on albums as a whole and instead release more frequent singles and EPs? Personally, I hate waiting for new material to come out, and often lose interest in a band when there is a long gap between releaes. At the same time, I don't think I could live without the satisfaction that I get from hearing an album that smokes from front to back. One of the best things in the world IMO.

I know this is a massive question, but what are your thoughts on the future of the album format, and music consumption in general?



I'm Rich Bitch! 

Howdy y'all! I just wanted to post up and share the good news with all of you fine folks. My time at Lantech is drawing to a close and tomarrow I will be resigning. The fine folks at Berbee Information Systems have found it in their heart to give me a job. I am, as we used to say, way psyched. This change is definately for the better and I am looking forward to the transition. Not only do I get a snazzy new laptop but the dump trucks are showing up this afternoon to dump truckloads of cash on my lawn! Get excited. God knows I am.



Come hither, media giants 

In light of the Sinclair-Stolen Honor scandal erupting like so much Mt. St. Helens, I thought I'd post this classic piece by Ben Compaine in Reason Magazine (January 2004). It's a little long, but read any part of it and I guarantee you will encounter more rational arguments then you will in a lifetime of bar stool discussion on this topic.

Because all of us are exposed to, and at times, live for media, everyone thinks they have some insightful knowledge of the inner-workings of the industry--that we are otherwise qualified to turn our knee-jerk emotional gut reactions into broad platitudes of how the media should work. Most of the time, this results in cries of "a few interests control the media," or "the number of sources of information is dwindling," or more specifically "Rupert Murdoch will control the media...then the world!"

We had some of this discussion during the CBS-The Reagans brouhaha.

Agree or disagree with these statements, media and communications at-large is an industry like anything else: it responds to market pressures, any particular outlet cannot be sustained without patronage (usually customers), and generally speaking competition among many alternatives results in the best products succeeding at the lowest price.

Ultimately, I think media ownership and regulation should be liberalized. That said, even if you disagree with me, developing counter-arguments to those presented in this article will go a longer way then unfounded "corporations control this country and are ruining journalism"-type comments.

Other news: The last Presidential Debate is being held about a half-mile from my condo in Tempe. My evening class tonight has opted to attend a debate-watching event at ASU's Downtown Phoenix campus with several departments in lieu of our regular lecture.

Also, in case you missed my comments posting, I will be in Chicago (Lincoln Park) from Oct. 20-25th, and likely in Indy the 21st/22nd (staying with Nowak in Broad Ripple). If anyone would like to meet up, I'll buy you a drink. Also, I bought a ticket for Gov't Mule at The Riviera on Oct. 22nd if anyone would like to participate in the wholesome blues/rock goodness.



Join 1.21 Pick'em!!! 

Greetings footballas - I just created a Pick'em league through yahoo.com for all of us to make our weekly picks. Join the league and prove thyself. It might be a few weeks late, but we can still have fun with this.

Group ID: 54300
Password: password

Sign up - the first active week is THIS WEEK, week 6, so sign up ASAP.



Rendezvous for Conspiracy Theorists  

An interesting article appeared in The Washington Post last week. A piece about conspiracy theories on the net and the the 9/11 attack on the Pentagon, it links to a website and a man who created a short flash-film entitled "9/11: Pentagon Strike."

The flash video can be seen in a full window here.

(The sites that are linked to in the video include this and this, but don't click them during the video or you will navigate away from the flash vid, very bad for you low bandwidthers)

I'm sure a few of you, like me, remember the boom of conspiracy theory that slammed the web after 9/11. I gotta say, at first I dismissed it as your run-of-the-mill internet conspiracy trash. Maybe it is. But it makes an interesting case; you should all check it out for yourselves, as The Washington Post does not even seem to take a position on its plausibility.

I love a good conspiracy theory, and if nothing else, the flash video is well-crafted. At the very least, you will really enjoy the soundtrack (Diddly will love it) which flows extremely well with the content of the video.

Feel free to hit me with some feedback/comments/discussion if you feelin it.


Reminder to Self 

Via The Morning News - check out some of the notes Bush took during the first debate.


He who passes out FIRST..... 

So lately I've been getting all these emails from my co-workers about all the pranks that us jackasses be playin on ourselves because of entire idiotic drunkeness. Check some of this shit out. There's more where that came from too.

Sorry about my lack of anything around here. My ass has been working ova, overtime. We're talkin I put in about 75 hours last week. I would actually envy getting written on and fucked with all the crazy shit...cause that means I would've had enough free time to drink and pass out. How about a call out of Ian's version of Hix's party and afterwards??? hahaha.


America, Fuck Yeah! 

This past friday night, Alison and I were lucky enough to catch the sneak preview of the new Trey Parker / Matt Stone joint Team America: World Police. This is easily the funniest movie in years, and required viewing for all on this blog. First off, it's all marionettes, and they definetly play up the limitations. Hand to hand combat scenes basically consist of banging the two puppets together, and well... I'll let you use your imagination for the sex scene.

In typical Southpark fashion, no party is left unbashed. These guys take shots at everyone: foreign dictators, "Corporate conspiracy!"-Liberals, trigger happy conservatives, and the military's complete disregard for casualities. The stereotyping is as shameless as it is brilliant. There's no shortage of obsceneties and had they used real actors it would easily be the most graphic film I have ever seen. Plus, we get 8-9 brand new Parker-penned original tunes. I'll say it now - better than Southpark the Movie.



Get Fumped Up 

Another addition to the fashion file: Gizmodo has the lowdown on the reissue of the original Reebok Pumps! Check these badboys out! Now is your chance to put away those bad memories of the time you got deomted to a pair of LA Gear (you know, the ones with flashing lights in the sole), and hook yourself up with a mighty, mighty pair of Reebok Pumps. Then, when they get old and ratty you can rip out the pump mechanism and show all the guys in math class down at the bar.

Pump-pump-pump-pump-pump.... psssssssssss - INDEED.

Of course, this will only be the coolest shoe out until Nike decides to properly reissue the all-time greatest sneaker ever: The Air Jordan IV


Something New To Look At 

It's been awefully quiet around here this week, so here's an update on Ole Macky. Birthday was off the proverbial hizzy last weekend, thanks to all who made it out and to my lovely ladyfriend Ali for organizing the shit out of everything (you 2-badd). Thanks to everyone who brought gifts. I certianly wasn't expecting anything. A quick rundown of the gifts that are still currently giving:

Bottle of Jager - Pretty much finished this the moment it came out of the bag. The only thing missing here was an encore performance of Tedro's Nam Vet one man show. Thanks to Paul and Steph for helping to blur the line on acceptable booze intake.

Bottle of Crown - Jager is my favorite LQ to shoot, and the Diddronix knows good and well that whiskey is my favorite to sip. Now as soon as the man realizes that Coke is the supreme mixer we're all good. Pepsi? I'd rather drink Diet Rite... or Tab... or Faygo. So yeah, I'd rather be a Juggalo. Is that what you want Ian?

Bottle of Knob Creek - I'm starting to see a trend here. Thanks to Ali for this one. If I'm ever the subject of an alchohol intervention I better not see any of you gift-givers there.

Interpol's Antics - courtesy of A-RONious Maximus. I dig this CD much more now than I did the first time I listened. No sophmore slump here whatsoever. A damn fine album.

Plastic Deer - Magic happens when Jenny Nye comes to your party. I'm a big fan of my plastic toy deer, and he is a big fan of the plant that he is currently kickin' it in.

iPod - I show up to work on monday and my boss gives me a fucking iPod. How bomb is that? More to come on this later.



The Church of Boognish Call-eth 

Brown be with you my sons. Ween is back on tour. You might want to note that the tour closing performance happens to take place in the town of B. That's right y'alls, we rocked their punkasses so hard last time that they had no choice but to end the tour here this time around.

November 10 - Axis

Check out the rest of the tour dates right n'yah. Tedro, it's not too late to move back to Bloomington.



Long Time Listener, First Time Caller 

Hello All! I am pleased to announce that I have successfully commendeered a spot on the Watts. Some of you may remember me from the famed In The Congo. I am on hiatus from that great blog and have decided to post my random musings in this fine venue. Some of you (i.e. The Elder Mack) may wonder how I got here... don't you worry about that. Just know that while I am here you will enjoy insightful and rollicking posts. While I am at it I want to wish Ole Macky a happy quarter century, I am sure the requisite bash tomarrow evening will live up to expectations. If you are attending and do not know me, please feel free to wander the room and ask everyone if they have seen a nutbag. This is the best way to find me. Until next time stay tuned... More fun to follow....


The age of ignorance 

I've gone beyond dismissing "the cult of che" as some kind of naivete or innocence. It is in fact ignorance and it really bothers me.

If you missed it, this piece from Paul Berman in Slate clotheslines the appalling ovation of The Motorcycle Diaries, a "cinematic genuflection" in homage to Che Guevara. Berman gets it exactly right. Che was the intellectual anti-intellectual, eschewing a career in medicine to become the father of the broad militant communist revolution in Cuba. He was the architect of labor camps, firing squads, suppression of poets and librarians (this sounds dangerously like the Khmer Rouge). He's beyond the questionable sympathies of Pablo Neruda and other contemporaries. He used inflammatory language to encourage violence and martyrdom.

And he's a Goddamned hero to middle-class college kids everywhere.

His likeness carries the same fashionable approval and homogeneity of Von Dutch, but with more street cred. "It's just a young punk's fashion sense, dude. Give it a rest." Imagine if I wore a t-shirt with a silhouetted Hitler on my chest. Would I get a pass because "it fits well?" No, as I shouldn't. Which is not to say people aren't free to wear or say what they like, just be prepared to make your case when you're around me.

The other day I was at my favorite Tempe bar with my boss. A kid in the predictable red Che shirt walked up and asked to bum a smoke. I couldn't begin to address the irony of this situation, appealing to my sense of charity while implicitly (even if unknowingly) advocating a regime of vehement redistribution. Having already put back a few pints of the fine pale ale, my tirade began. I gave him the cigarette and told him not to bother me again.

The most smug justification I've ever heard for the experiment of Communism is "it may not have worked, but aren't you glad we tried and the world now knows?" No in fact I am not, and as auto-didact Tom Palmer once responded to this line of questioning: "Only if you think 100 million people should have died over the 20th century for this cause, then was it worth it."

It's nothing new and it's not unique to Che. The Old Left and academics have always harbored this intense romanticization of Communism, from embarrassingly flattering editorials about Allende in The Nation, to the blisteringly hypocritical bloviating of one Noam Chomsky.


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