I'm surrounded by THE BORG! 

Everybody is wearing these damn headsets these days, and think they are trying to assimilate me in to The Borg.

... and they're not just wearing them in the car, but on the street, in the office, everywhere! This is a fashion statement now. I see people wearing these things all day long. What the hell? Is it comfortable to have some piece of plastic hanging off of your ear all day? Is your call volume so high that you need to have that ear piece in at all times?

I like technology and all, but gadgets can be really irritating when people put them on display like some kind of status symbol. This display of douchey behavior needs to stop.



US Blowjobless Rate at All-Time High 

Know Your Onion! Great new article. Favorite Quote: " Cutbacks in Oral services have left 55 million Americans unsatisfied...Although June saw a promising jump in the age 15-19 demographic, with many teeagers finding summer blowjobs, almost 82 percent of married men are completely blowjobless."

But I guess the real NEWS is that I will be going to CHINA bitches!! Janieary. Yes that is right, I've currently been accepted to teach English to the Chinamen and Chinawomen. It is unclear exactly where I will go but my preference has been stated as outside of Shanghai in the Jiangsu province, Nanjing or Su Zhou. I have not made the whole thing official yet, but I am very excited and almost conclusive. I will need a temp job or in need of some cash before I go for the "happy" endings, but the will be paying my airfare and my rent and a regular salary. SO that's pretty sweet. In addition and above all, it should be great experience for myself in trying to set up with some international business consulting. Diggay, Digga Nah!!



BEHOLD! A Massive Ramp 

Has anybody seen the new Megaramp that's being used in the X-games big air competition? Holy shit, this thing is huge. Can you believe people skate this? It's basically a launch ramp with a 9-story drop-in. Check out Slate's article on the ramp and how it is changing the face of skating.

I haven't really even stepped on a board since age 16, but I'm not sure I like what this might do to the sport. To me skateboarding has always been the closest thing to Jazz in the sporting world. It's one artist staying closely in tune with his or her surroundings and using that as a canvas to create something that is representative of a personal style, voice or timbre. This ramp is Evil Knievel. It's Hendrix playing the guitar with his teeth or Kurt Cobain mangling himself on a drum kit. Basically, it's all show and no substance.

Still... wow, that thing is 80 feet tall. These guys must be out their damn minds.



You thought Google Maps was Slick 

Check out Amazon's answer to Google Maps -- their new A9 beta just launched and it has similar functionality with built in photos so you can see each side of the street as you scroll through the map. Cool shit. For instance, here is where I work.

Not to be outdone, Google recently launched Google Earth with satallite-style imagery rendered in 3D. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet since it's only available on PC, but it looks pretty unreal. Here's an early screenshot of L.A. Soon you will be able to zoom from space to name on your neighbor's mailbox. Scary? Probably. Useful? Hells yes. This is the start of a GPS integration that will soon power most of the transportation and communications throughout the world, IMCUO (In my completely unqualified opinion).

There's plenty of great info on Google Earth over at New Recruit.



Time for a little NFL prediction 

Let's predict some division winners in the NFL this year, starting with the AFC. We'll check back at the end of the season to see who was most on-point. Since a lot of our choices will be similar be sure to include your projected wins/losses.

AFC EAST: New England (13-3) - I really want to go with the Jets here because I think Pennington is going to have a great season, but it would be stupid to think any other team would take this paltry division. That said, they have a tough-ass schedule and I do see the Pats losing at least three games (Carolina, Pitt [putting them at 1-2 in first three weeks], and of course, Indy).

AFC NORTH: Pittsburgh (12-4) - Another easy call. The only thing that could hold them back is if Big Ben went in to a sophmore slump, bringing the whole offense down with him. If that happens, Baltimore could challenge, but Kyle Boller is looking terrible so far, so I don't see their offense getting off the ground either. (Losses: San Diego, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Baltimore)

AFC SOUTH: Indianapolis (14-2) - Sure, I might be biased, but Indy has one of the easiest schedules of any team that made the playoffs in 04-05. The South is slim with talent outside of the Colts, and while I do think Houston will gain some ground, it won't be enough to challenge. (Losses: San Diego, Seattle)

AFC WEST: San Deigo (12-4) The toughest division in football by far. San Diego has a shitload of talent, but so does just about every team. I think Kerry Collins is going to blow up this year now that he has Moss and part of me wants to see Oakland make something happen. That said, the Charges are too tough with Brees and LT leading the way. (Losses: New England, Kansas City, Philly, Oakland)

Here's a few links to make these picks a little easier:

Conference Breakdowns
Team Schedules (use dropdown menu)

We'll pick up the NFC later this week. That conference should be a shootout in almost every division this year.



And Now, Your Three Day Forecast 

IT's about time. Summer please go away now.

THE WEATHER! YEAH! Will someone else please post something.



Drops of Poopiter 

Quite simply, the worst song that could ever get stuck in your head is Train's 2001 mega-smash "Drops of Jupiter." Am I wrong? The song is a vicous piece of power balladry. Just try to name something worse. It can't be done. Damn the radio of the person in the cube next to me.

A close second belongs to Tal Bachman's 1999 chork-inducing single "She's So High." Tal, a man with a long history of SUCK in his family, is of course the son of Bachman-Turner Overdrive / Guess Who guitarist Randy Bachman, the man responsible for perpetuating two of the most heinous musical crimes in rock'n'rock history, "Takin' Care of Business," and "You Ain't Seen Nuthin' Yet." Lest we forget Lenny Kravitz's version of "American Woman," a song worthy of merit in it's original incarnation, yet one that brutalizes the ears when placed in to the wrong hands.



Two week Southernplayalistic redux 

Well, not really.

But I'm two and a half weeks into my first class, and let me tell you, it sucks. But my apartment is great (if a tad bit expensive), and the city has a great vibe. It feels good to be back--I had spent the Summer of 2000 here, but then lacked personal transportation (a must here) as well as some kind of verification--legal or otherwise--of my age 21-ness. Given those insurmountable challenges, I still left Atlanta thinking it was a pretty cool place.

Now I'm back, with a car that resembles a motorized skateboard and little use for an I.D. to prove my age, I'm optimistic this time around will be even better. Because I'm still saddled with debt from the move, and I don't start getting paid for a while, I haven't really gone out. Sure we caught a movie the other weekend, and had a drink in the college-y neighborhood with all the bars, but mostly my days are the mundane task of class and errands: a binary state filled with tedium.

But it will get better from here (my posts that is). 'Til then, please set your Yahoo-assisted piracy minions to look for tracks by Atlanta's own Deer Hunter (killer indie rock name methinks)--Ian, you might actually dig them. Thankfully there's an amazing college station at Georgia State University called Album 88. Through them I've learned there's a whole social sub-scene built around Adult Swim and it's creators/production teams at 70/30 and Williams Street. For instance, one of the guys who does music for some of the Adult Swim shows is a memeber of innumerable bands, all with a decent following, as well as the owner of a burgeoning solo electronic career. Maybe I'll get invited to his CD release party.

Ah, it's good to be back.



Camping? What Now? 

Here's the new look for Gigawatts for the next little while. Bring the love, bring the hate.

When you're done doing that, any one care to consider a camping trip for an upcoming weekend? Perhaps Southern Illinois? Southern Wisconsin? Anywhere within a 5 hour drive of either Chicago or Indy? Who down?



New BSS Track & More Free Shit 

The new disc from Broken Social Scene (still the worst band name in rock) doesn't drop until October, but galleryAC.com has made one of the album's featured tracks available for download.

Broken Social Scene - 7/4 (Shoreline)

Also, this is apparantly the artwork for the album, as featured on galleryAC. It kind of reminds me of the great olde time internet attraction, I am Better than Your Kids.

Also, here are a few free album downloads via an unnamed source:

Arcade Fire - Self-Titled EP
Avalanches - Since I Left You
Death Cab For cutie - Plans
Fela Kuti - Zombie
Prefuse 73 - Reads the Books
Frank Zappa - Hot Rats



Aw shit, A's back again 

What up Chicago!! Bout to get shady on yo ass again. So My Canadamericaribana Road Trip has ended and was a wonderful follow up to SSB'05. The trip was a basic StoneDrunkLove bonanza. I stole some kisses, upheld a proper buzz, and remembered how much I miss certain friends and hash. Hell, I even managed to fit in a pseudo-interview with Ben's HR manager. AND, even more importantly to those of the 121, I spent a couple night pieces with the Dillbeanus getting my drink face on. Not to mention some intellectual wackyiness at the Warhol Museum. I'll get some pics up here some time.

Although, there are some stories to tell, I can't tell them quite as good as this guy. For the J-rod and Dill pieces, you'll go ass over tits for .this other story. Slightly reminiscent of the STL story. For those who don't want too much detail...just skip to Day One.

Mad props to Tucker Max.



Music Piracy Tools from our Friends at Yahoo! 

(Via Coolfer) Yahoo! recently launched the Beta version of their audio search tool. It's a pretty decent Little Engine that Could. Casual use of the search engine will direct you to mostly legal outlets where you can download tracks for a fee, but by using a couple of small tweaks in the search field, such as adding "mp3," you will find links to websites that host free downloads. Sure, it's probably not legal, unless the webpage has obtained permission to host the track (yeah sure).

As much good as this can do for those who choose to pirate music, I can see it giving webmasters a shitload of grief. Finally record labels and the RIAA have a quick and easy way to hunt down websites that are illegally hosting their copyrighted music. Once the labels catch on to this policing tool it will be interesting to see what happens to the phenomenon of mp3 blogs.


You can have neither my money, nor my weapons 

Thanks to Alison for sending me this link. Apparantly there has been an email floating around the internet for the past few years claiming that an Oakland high school once had a competition to see who could best translate rap lyric ebonics to standard english. Check out the page at Snopes. An example:

Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
Album: Ready to Die
Song: One more chance (remix)


Don’t see my ones, don't see my guns — get it
Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
I don't know what the hell’s stoppin' ya
I'm clockin' ya — Versace shades watchin' ya
Once ya grin, I'm in game, begin


Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons. I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior Mafia. I'm having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my expensive glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will approach you.



Double Albums, Why Bother 

The always fair and balanced and spot-on music magazine Stylus, has a great revolving feature on double albums, this time centering on the Smashing Pumpkins' opus Mellen Collie & the Infinite Sadness. The author raises some interesting questions: Are double albums really necessary in the digital age? Were they ever?

I'm with the author, double albums are often too bloated and musically overreaching to maintain a listener's attention and create the type of cover-to-cover genious that album-oriented fans constantly crave. In an era when single albums often absorb a full 74 minutes of CD space, it seems unreasonable to think that any set of songs can't be trimmed down to create a more cohesive, quality-controlled whole. Simply put, double albums are too damn long and hard to listen to in one sitting. Sure, there are some fantastic double albums out there, but name one band that has a GOOD double album that doesn't also have a BETTER single album. Think about how great those so-so double albums could have been if they had been trimmed back to one, or re-sequenced and released seperately.

If you are like me then you hate waiting for your favorite artist to put out a new record. You wait 4 years and then they drop 38 tracks and 2 hours+ of music on you. I commend Radiohead for breaking the Kid A sessions in to two parts. I commend Prefuse 73 for dropping EPs after each proper album. iTunes has stepped up as a great outlet for extra material. Don't get me wrong, the excess material needs to be out there -- just don't cram it on to an album and corrupt a fantastic set of tunes. I've said it once and I'll say it again: 12-14 songs max, depending on length, and no more than 45 minutes total.

Of course that's just like, my opinion, man.



Stun Gun Shocks Naked Buns 

Hey ya'll trifling bitches. Sorry I haven't posted in a while but my life is so full of mystery and intrigue I have barely a minute's rest. However, I couldn't let this juicy news story slip through the cracks. We in the editorial staff at the paper have had a field day with possible headlines for this story. Any ideas? Here's a snippet:

Authorities are facing allegations of excessive use of force after a sheriff’s deputy shot a streaker with an electric taser gun Sunday during the Demolition Derby.
John Chase Rodgers, 21, of Jackson was shot in the back as he tried to elude authorities while running naked and carrying a fire extinguisher through the Teton County Fairgrounds. Hit with 50,000 volts of electricity, Rodgers flopped to the ground and was arrested for indecent exposure and interference with police.
Rodgers was one of two men who entered the arena before the final heat of the derby as a fire truck circled, spraying water on the dirt. The other man partially disrobed and danced in the spray of the fire truck.
Rodgers grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran from one side of the arena to the other as the crowd of about 3,500 cheered. When law enforcement and security approached, he turned and began running in the opposite direction before Teton County Sheriff’s Deputy Todd Stanyon pointed the taser gun at Rodgers and fired two probes into his back.
Many in the crowd reacted with outrage, booing vociferously, hurling cups of beer into the arena and chanting obscenities as police led the naked man away in handcuffs.

Sorry I can't post pics with my crappy Mac but the one that ran on the front page yesterday is hi-larious (I'll e-mail it to someone, Mackey, if you want to post it). Here's a link to another (crappier) newspaper's story and photos: http://www.planetjh.com/brady/brady_2005_08_01_streaker.html.



Better make that TWO doubles, Bartender 

I didn't take a whole lot of pictures at Intonation fest a few weeks ago, but I did come across a mysterious snap of the Process looking especially faded at the bar.

Pic via My Blog is Pooop

That said, HOORAY for that fact that Jared's white ass, and the matching shit fountains are no longer at the top of this blog!


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